They say do not wish for anything if you are not prepared for it to happen. When she wished for the safety his arms provided. Eleanor was not prepared for how her emotions would tear at her. She was not prepared for the guilt which rippled through her body at the thought of what she had done. Eleanor swallowed as she turned to him. To find him grinning down at her. She had options, she could ignore his earlier comment. Pretending to not remember what had happened.
What course of action she decided on lost its value when he charged towards her. Engulfing her in an embrace spun her around, setting her down to look at her confused.
“You do not know how good it feels to know one thing is still the same. That you are still here. Not married off. Or with a child.” Dean stated as he ruffled his hair. “With Emilia married, losing my best friend and my sister. Who would have thought her childish admiration would have resulted in marriage?”
Eleanor nodded in agreement. Who would have thought? She had suspected, Emilia had a taste of love and lost her way. Something Eleanor would never understand why? Neither would she understand what it means to lose herself to another. That should be her next mission, her next reprise to lose herself to a man. Rather, in a man. Or even worse for a man. Any man would suffice. Any man would do. Expect him. Not him. He would not do.
Not him! Anyone but him!
No. Dean, would not do he was a Scientist. Hell-bent on analyzing, observing, hypothesizing and dissecting every situation. He would tell her No when he concluded. With all possible avenues considered he would say. “This course of action would not be wise.” It seems when with her all ration, and reason flood to mind. But with the others, he knew to let go and have fun. She had seen him do it. She knew he could.
If only he would. This one with her. For her. Like he had done with the others times before. That was a dream a girl wishing for something to happen that never would. Eleanor used to believe in dreams. She used to hope for the best, want the best. Now, she did not know what to believe anymore. All the empty promises, mistaken beliefs, and misguided intentions.
As he looked in the direction of the door. No doubt expecting the beautiful woman he danced with to appear. She stalked off in the direction of the voiture before she finally added. “She seems very happy.”
She had accomplished her goal she had enticed a man into wanting her. Even if it meant he thought it was anyone else but her. One thing she did not plan on was for it to be a man she could not confess to. Dean, would not like it. He would not stand for it. He, not her family would have her on the first carriage to Lone Creek. To waste away. This was not a risk worth taking.
Eleanor turned to look at him, to see if he followed her. He stood there unaware she had walked off stopping she called after him. “Lord Townsend, care to join me?” She should not have done that being polite she had not done so in years. Not towards him in private or otherwise. He was her best companion. She was to him like a brother he never had. Mind you she did not look the part but she knew how to play it. Eleanor had many brothers and cousins she had to thank for that. Though misguided their relationship may be it suited them fine. For a time it worked.
Yes, for a long moment it did. Until Emilia married, even the town’s greatest advocate Elizabeth married. If she made a complete turn around who was to say she wouldn’t. That she couldn’t. Even if it meant falling for the tall, aristocratic, brooding, ginger breaded. Intelligent, dashing, handsome scientist walking towards her.